Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:06] Speaker B: Sadist Podcast where power is refined, impact sharpens, and leaders move from success that contains to ecstatic legacy.
[00:00:28] Speaker C: Hello and welcome.
I'm your host, Alara Sage.
And here we are in the New Year.
Typically people love to set New Year's resolutions, but I for one invite you to set new standards.
New standards in your leadership, new standards in your power and your impact.
Everyone has their weaknesses. Everyone has the areas in their life that they are holding on to.
An identity, an identity that is rooted in fear.
[00:01:22] Speaker A: An identity that is controlling.
[00:01:26] Speaker C: Circumstances, performing and not allowing your next level self, your depth of power, to emerge and to actualize into your physical reality.
[00:01:53] Speaker A: This weak link, these wounded identities might.
[00:01:56] Speaker C: Exist in your relationships.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: It might exist where you fear intimacy, you fear losing yourself in another.
[00:02:10] Speaker C: It might show up in conflict where you either resist conflict or you tend to stir the pot.
It might show up in your mental.
[00:02:21] Speaker A: Health where you shove down your feelings.
[00:02:25] Speaker C: And your emotions, you try not to feel, you abandon yourself, you deny yourself your own desires.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: And even though you may appear confident.
[00:02:41] Speaker C: And successful, you secretly lack self confidence, self conviction, and most importantly, self love.
It might show up in your physical health where maybe you work out at.
[00:03:02] Speaker A: The gym, but you don't eat well, or you eat well and you work at the gym, but you don't know.
[00:03:09] Speaker C: How to rest and let go.
[00:03:13] Speaker A: You don't know how to actually honor.
[00:03:15] Speaker C: When the body just needs relaxation.
[00:03:23] Speaker A: You don't even understand the cycles of your body and when it is available to bring in more and push harder, and when it needs to detoxify and release and let go.
So as a leader, your job is.
[00:03:45] Speaker C: To from a state of self awareness.
[00:03:47] Speaker A: The ability to see oneself from neutrality.
[00:03:52] Speaker C: Not judgment, not shame, not guilt, but.
[00:03:58] Speaker A: As an observer of yourself and recognize what areas of your life are you allowing fear.
[00:04:08] Speaker C: To dictate who you are.
[00:04:10] Speaker A: And how you show up.
And fear is a tricky one because sometimes we just, we don't feel the.
[00:04:17] Speaker C: Fear.
[00:04:20] Speaker A: And so we don't believe that the fear exists.
But if we were to actually take the time to explore, well, why don't I rest?
[00:04:32] Speaker C: Why don't I give myself the opportunity to just relax and rest?
[00:04:38] Speaker A: You know, the eagle will come in and say, well, because you've got too much to do, you're too important.
But if you really sit with the truth of it, what you'll find is you're scared.
You're scared to stop, you're scared of the silence, you're scared of not moving because all you've ever known is the pressure, the doing in order to get, you might fear, intimacy, real deep connection with even the people that you love with all of your being.
Because what if they actually see who you are from the perspective that you see yourself?
[00:05:27] Speaker C: You don't love yourself.
[00:05:28] Speaker A: What if they were to actually see that part of you? Would they still love you or would they abandon you? Because to be vulnerable, to be intimate, to be deeply connected with another, is to be seen fully and, and met there.
But if you're not meeting yourself, how.
[00:05:46] Speaker C: Can you let others meet you?
[00:05:53] Speaker A: And the fear of actually being with.
[00:05:56] Speaker C: Your own mind.
[00:06:00] Speaker A: Being with your own emotions, having that depth of connection to self and what you would actually find.
[00:06:08] Speaker C: There.
[00:06:10] Speaker A: Because the self hatred, the self loathing believes it and doesn't want to see it.
These are examples of where fear hides.
And our ego will tell ourselves that we just, we don't, it's not important to us, or we have too many other things on our plate, or there's other things that are important, whatever it is.
But you know, you know the truth, you're just hiding it from yourself.
So where is that new identity for you in this new year? If you really want to elevate your leadership, increase your power and impact, if you want to know yourself more intimately so that you can lead from a place of sovereignty, then this is the.
[00:07:03] Speaker C: Question to start asking yourself, where am I hiding?
[00:07:08] Speaker A: Where am I allowing fear or shame, self loathing, guilt, one of those low vibratory emotions, the fear of rejection to control me?
And if I want to face that fear because I'm courageous and I'm a.
[00:07:34] Speaker C: Leader and that's what leaders do, then.
[00:07:36] Speaker A: What is the new standard of how.
[00:07:38] Speaker C: I have to show up?
[00:07:40] Speaker A: Who is that version of me? And how does he or she show.
[00:07:45] Speaker C: Up in the moment?
[00:07:48] Speaker A: Right, so let's go through some of the examples. If it is your relationships and being intimate and vulnerable is challenging for you, then your standard becomes that you start to share your experience with those who are deeply intimate with you.
You share those moments where you doubt yourself. You share those moments that you're in self rejection and self hate. Ah, doesn't that sound horrible, right?
Maybe you're feeling this right now. If you're one of those people who holds those emotions very close to your own heart and you do not share them. Why? Because you will fear. You fear being seen as weak.
But vulnerability is the most powerful thing we can ever do. Doesn't mean you have to go and tell the whole world.
But can't you tell the ones that you deeply love? If they can't love you in that, in that doubt, in that self loathing, in that uncertainty, then they don't love you.
It's all a facade. And that's what you fear, is the collapse of that. So the new standard would be to start, even the smallest moment, to start to share that with them or even ask them about deeper experiences within themselves, start the conversation.
[00:09:16] Speaker C: Show up in those moments with them.
[00:09:21] Speaker A: If it's your own, just a mental health, right, and the willingness to actually feel those emotions in your body, then the new standard is to pause when you have those emotions. Instead of just pouring yourself into your work, distracting yourself with doing or distracting yourself by working out, distracting yourself with music, distracting yourself somehow so that you have to feel.
Your new standard is you learn how to breathe into your body and feel those emotions and recognize you don't have to identify with them.
Just because you feel them doesn't mean they are true.
If your new standard is for physical health and giving your body time to actually rest and.
Heal itself, right? Because the body can regenerate. That was the word I was looking for, rest and regenerate.
You know, your new standard is that every Sunday you spend whatever time, an hour, two hours where you are learning how to rest. No matter how uncomfortable that is for you, you're learning how to rest.
Or if you already have some level of connection with rest, then your next new level of standard is that when you feel it, when you know, because you know, we all know, we all know when our body is saying, I've had enough, I need rest.
Can you break your schedule? Can you cancel things? Can you give priority over to that intuitive hit that you need rest, Your body needs regeneration and that matters to you over performing, over a schedule that is correlating to other people. Are you going to choose your body?
These are the standards of a new level of identity where you are showing up to that which you hide, that which you have told yourself you'll get to later, you'll get to when you put it just outside of your own reach because you fear what it actually mirrors to you.
So I call in, not New Year's.
[00:12:10] Speaker C: Resolutions, I call in new levels of standards to your identity that are a.
[00:12:17] Speaker A: Direct step forward towards your greatest fears, whatever that is for you.
And seek help if you need to seek help, seek help if you don't understand how to take action in these fears, if you don't understand how to let go of control, how to stop performing if you don't know how to be intimate with people, be vulnerable with people, Let go if you don't know how to recognize what turns you on anymore.
Sometimes these things are so shoved down, we have denied them for so long.
[00:13:07] Speaker C: They feel absolutely foreign.
[00:13:11] Speaker A: So if that's the case, then congratulations, because you are direct across from something.
[00:13:21] Speaker C: That scares you so deeply that you have numbed yourself.
And that, my love, is a portal into power.
[00:13:33] Speaker A: It is a portal into a new.
[00:13:37] Speaker C: Level of your leadership.
[00:13:41] Speaker A: Because we all have what comes easy to us.
And some of those things are really grand and beautiful, and that's great, but.
[00:13:52] Speaker C: That'S your comfort zone.
[00:13:53] Speaker A: That's what comes easy to you.
[00:13:56] Speaker C: Where is the challenge?
[00:13:59] Speaker A: Where is the edge? Where is this new edge for you that is going to expand you through the portal of fear and discomfort and pain?
[00:14:11] Speaker C: Go there.
Go there.
Because as we speak, leadership is changing.
[00:14:24] Speaker A: And the things that I brought in to this conversation, these are the ways, these are the new standards for leaders.
So if you recognized yourself in some of the things that I said, or perhaps all of them, then you have.
[00:14:42] Speaker C: Some work to do if you want to maintain leadership.
[00:14:47] Speaker A: But if you are a leader, that should excite you.
[00:14:51] Speaker C: Sure, it'll scare you.
[00:14:56] Speaker A: What is the difference between fear and excitement? Simply our perspective.
You can let fear excite you. You can let challenge turn you on.
[00:15:09] Speaker C: Or you can let it stop you, keep you where you are, keep you hidden, constrained, contracted and controlled. But my love, heed my morning, my warning, when I tell you that that is not sovereign leadership, that is not the leadership that is stepping up right now.
So what is the new identity?
[00:15:44] Speaker A: First off, identifying where in your reality is that identity?
[00:15:49] Speaker C: Right?
[00:15:50] Speaker A: Is it in your work?
Is it in your health, your physical.
[00:15:54] Speaker C: Health or your mental health?
[00:15:55] Speaker A: Is it in your relationships?
[00:16:02] Speaker C: And it's going to be one of those three.
[00:16:04] Speaker A: And then what is that part that you fear?
What is it that you are denying in yourself, even though you know it's important to you?
And then once you've identified that, ask.
[00:16:27] Speaker C: Yourself, what is the standard.
[00:16:33] Speaker A: The way that you want to show up regularly? Not a goal that you reach, a standard in how you show up, your actions, your words, what is that new standard?
Make it clear, concise, so that you cannot hide.
Right? When we have a standard that is very clear, the next time I feel.
[00:17:07] Speaker C: An emotion that I don't want anybody to know about, I'm going to share it with my partner, my husband, my wife, my beloved, right?
[00:17:24] Speaker A: The next time, or like I said, every Sunday, I'm going to stop and.
[00:17:30] Speaker C: Learn how to rest.
[00:17:32] Speaker A: Very clear, concise standard that you can't hide from you can't pretend that you are achieving.
Because when we set these standards, these become our new baseline, our new norm, our new way of being, and therefore our new identity.
I look forward to hearing if you.
[00:18:02] Speaker C: Would love to share.
You're always welcome to message me what this is for you.
If you have a question about how how to identify these things within you or how to take yourself there, reach out.
Excuse me info larasage.com because the world is about to get very chaotic. If you don't consider it already radically chaotic, it's about to get more chaotic.
[00:18:39] Speaker A: We need leaders.
[00:18:41] Speaker C: We need leaders who insist that.
[00:18:49] Speaker A: They.
[00:18:50] Speaker C: Show up, that they face their fears, and that they make what they hide holy.
So delicious.
[00:19:00] Speaker A: Thank you so much for joining me here today.
[00:19:03] Speaker C: I bring you very many blessings of miracles of self awareness of self love in this coming new year.
[00:19:16] Speaker A: May it be the year that you.
[00:19:19] Speaker C: See yourself like never before.
Much love to you.
[00:19:29] Speaker B: Thank you for listening to this Sacred Sadist podcast from Bound to Liberated.
Connect with us on Instagram at the Sacred Sadist or on YouTube @Alara Sage.
Until next time.
